TASM Lab - New Year's Speech
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Posted by: Michael J on 04-30-08:

You're Welcome


Posted by: Frog on 03-30-08:

k revel everyone is not arol, only arol is arol, you win. the point is that the truth stands for itself, so i do too, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it, which puts your tiny power trip right in its place doesnt it. doesnt matter anyway. cheers.


Posted by: . on 03-28-08:

right, well i guess expecting that drastic of a process acceleration isn't rational is it. *shrug* well if it makes any difference,I myself as Steve,am NOT a wound up nature show host or school shooter or some random person who cant manage to get off their ass without external encouragement or anyone else I killed who's name was Steve.THAT Steve is DEAD in the final context of the word and no one in their RIGHT MIND cares, to continue identifying with him as a living being.This is ludicrous.




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TASM Lab - New Year's Toast

On New Year's Eve, the switch over to year 2000, TASM Lab had its first live performance. It featured myself (Jeff) and Michelle Graf performing "The Grain of Deity" from Penisgeek. My portion consisted of the following toast:




Good evening denizens of Kalamazoo and welcome to Harvey's first mellenial New Year's Eve celebration. My name is Jeff Till and I'm am presented by my very own TASM Lab. I'm the first "band" on the bill tonight, a special luxary one gets by leveraging old friendships and crying like a baby when he doesn't get his way. Also for your enjoyment tonight is Low Fi Scorpio, Sleet from sunny and dangerous LA, Kalamazoo's favorite, Thought Industry and ringing us into 2000 is xxxx.

As I'm sure you've heard by countless television commercials and apocalyptic predictions, this "2000" thing is a historic event, and I can't tell you how proud I am to be part of this rich history were bringing tonight to Harvey's on the Mall. I am also proud to say that I'm part of Harvey's rich past, as my former band, Screwtape, got to be the first hair band to play at Harvey's back in 1992. We were happy to begin new music nights on Wednesdays, where we could latch on dearly to the already strongholded $1.25 pitchers of Bush night, which in our entrapreneural young minds figured could be fierce competition for 99 cent 40s of Mickeys night that everyone was enjoying at home. Soon other neat bands, like Snorkel and King Tammy and the Sinatras began playing, which in turn quickly evacuated the profitable, paying fraternity crowd that was resident and replaced them with the cheap, unprofitable hippies and freaks that would overrun Harveys until this day.

I remember Thought Industry's first show at Harveys. Their then drummer, obviously used to more sophisticated venues, donned this white Croation death mask throughout the show, apparently in hopes of procuring the fear and majesty of heavy metal into the hearts of the eager showgoers. Unfortunatley, hanging behind the drums was a large promotional Budwieser poster of "Spuds McKensie" wearing a Hawaiian shirt surrounded by bikini chicks making the "hang loose" symbol. Obviously, some of the effect was lost.

When members of Sleet first played here, then known as Twitch, I remember they were driving through thier intense repatoire, when Brent Oberlin of Thought Industry came up front and center, no doubt holding one of a number of $1.25 pitchers of Bush, which were small enough to sort of hook onto an index finger while one swayed about, and started shouting out old Chris Bryer song titles, like "Butterfly" and "holy man". Which, if your lucky enough to stand front and center in front of a loud heavy metal band with hardly anyone around, is a fun thing to do. Now Chris who was singing, also had one of a number of $1.25 pitchers hooked on his finger, became so angry with Brent's badgering, that he stopped singing, thought of the meanest thing he could say over a microphone, in front of a crowd, and said "Brent Oberlin is fat". Now Brent wasn't fat, and it was a terrible thing to do. But the irony is that, or maybe the curse, is that nearly all of Brent's peers, myself and Chris included, would from that point on blow up like ticks until we nearly tripled our size. Just before the show, me and Jared were wondering how many cubic yards of pork sausage you could fit into a pair of our pants.

Since we're talking about Harvey's history, I'd like to share with you how Harvey's first came into being, long before Thought Industry, and long before Twitch. It was the turn of the last century, when Kalamazoo was mostly just a trading post and a saloon, surrounded by pig farms, and this bar was known as Arnold's on the Pond. This was before they filled in Kalamazoo pond with garbage from Portage and built the walking mall.

Well, anyway, a man named Harvey Decauter came in to the bar one night from the Western Michigan sticks, to relax and have a beer. Harvey was down on his luck. He wasn't a bright man, and his farmer's life in Western Michigan made him a bit dull. Harvey had quite a few beers. Arnold, who was sort of a cruel man, decided to tease Harvey and told Harvey that he could have the bar if he could beat him in a game of twenty questions. Harvey, with nothing to lose, agreed, and Arnold picked his answer, knowing Harvey was dull, and a bit drunk, to be a "engorged pig's penis".

Harvey's first question was "is it something you eat?". and Arnold laughed and said "yeah, I guess you could eat it"

And Harvey said "is it an engorged pig's penis?"

So Harvey won the game and took over Arnold's on the Pond. Arnold, pissed, immiately moved to Milwaukee, the pond was filled with Portage garbage, the mall was formed, and the bar was re-christened Harvey's on the Mall.

Now moving 100 years forward, we are here at Harvey's end of the world party, and I'm very happy to be here. I moved to Boston seven years ago, after everyone started turning fat, Spuds McKensie was taken down, and Mickey's went to $150 a 40. Little did everyone know was that my endeavors in music and art were just a cover up. I was secretly pining and fantasiing about being a management consultant in the insurance and consumer gift products industries. But when I heard about this show, I quickly reserved plane tickets on the two most dangerous flying dates in human history, bodily forced my wife to join me, all so I could be here. And that's because I don't just view Harvey's as a bar started by a game of twenty questions, but a home. And the best part is the people and the wonderful friends that are found here. So when I come here, I feel like I'm coming home. And that's what I would like to toast tonight. So if you would join me, I'd like to say thank you for Harvey's, thank you for the best of friends, thank you for home. Cheers. Happy New Year.

Now I would like to sing you a song I wrote for tonight. It should become readily apparent why I typically choose to farm out singing responsibilies on my CDs. This is called "The Whole Goddamn World".

Then I sang this song:

The Whole Goddamn World

Raise up our beers, to flush in the year Back up your glass to the top we've been sucking on foam since we've left our home, ducking the muse since our hearts were fresh, and still believe...

The whole goddamn world don't mean anything, not to stumbling, meaningless drunks like us who lack the guts to believe... The whole goddamn world don't span more than this, the laughing jackasses cry, while all of Till's favorite lies still fill

Santify this bar, our temple to the stars. A blackout of confidence reigns, I can't shit more bricks than the worst of you, A dumb-like-a-girl kind of point of view that strangles my song.

Don't work for your pay, don't expect that you'll get laid. The cockmaster beats on his chest, a bigger buffoon doesn't watch his breath, another cranked bitch will claim all the mess, until us grown-ups cry

One dumbass confused, another, starts to drool, a wretched form of abuse, a tragic point of view

Fuck up your lives for a joke, sell out your hopes for twenty cents, Cash in your chips just to pay the rent, and still proudly proclaim...

The whole goddamn world don't mean anything, not to stumbling, meaningless drunks like us who lack the guts to believe... The whole goddamn world don't span more than this, the laughing jackasses cry, while all of Till's favorite lies still fill

end of song

Thank you. That song is not on my new release, "Penisgeek Chrestomathy: The Essential Cubicle Nosepicker". It stars Michelle Graf of Blue Dahlia, Dave Grant of "Dead River Drag"and "Rollinghead". Plus it has appearances by Jared Bryant, formerlly of Thought Industry, Colin and Charles Bradford of Genius Hired Guns, Natalie Beversluis of Local Suns, and Brent Oberlin of "Thought Industry". I will be giving out copies of "penisgeek" if you agree to sign a contract that says you will listen to it. I think its pretty snappy. I'll also be giving out copies of my other CD, "Thing and Nothing", which features many Penisgeek folk and Chris Bryers of Sleet. I'd like to now introduce Michelle Graf who will sing the 12th track, "The Grain of Diety in woman". Please welcome her. Then Michelle sang "The grain of Deity of Woman". The crowd goes wild.



Comments from the world

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Posted by: Michael J on 04-30-08

You're Welcome


Posted by: Frog on 03-30-08

k revel everyone is not arol, only arol is arol, you win. the point is that the truth stands for itself, so i do too, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it, which puts your tiny power trip right in its place doesnt it. doesnt matter anyway. cheers.


Posted by: . on 03-28-08

right, well i guess expecting that drastic of a process acceleration isn't rational is it. *shrug* well if it makes any difference,I myself as Steve,am NOT a wound up nature show host or school shooter or some random person who cant manage to get off their ass without external encouragement or anyone else I killed who's name was Steve.THAT Steve is DEAD in the final context of the word and no one in their RIGHT MIND cares, to continue identifying with him as a living being.This is ludicrous.


Posted by: seventh cloners cloners clone's clone of a seventh cloners cloners clone's clone's clone on 03-19-08

everything is enchanted. enchantment is the more melodic synonym of entropic gravity touching closer to its etheric nature as you see it takes the cemetary out of the song in essence linguistically. take, for example, my radio. it's an inexpensive cd player and am/fm model with no tape player and no clock- i had the option to let my mom get me a pricier model because it was a birthday gift but the other model was unaesthetic. the brand name printed on it demanded attention. this little guy doesn't ask me to look at it. after my mom bought it for me i gave it back then bought it off her, which sounds like nonsense maybe but thats what i had to do for it to be mine. now its in my aparment sitting on the microwave, plugged into the wall (the radio is, not the microwave), but i never use it, nor do i intend to. i never turn it on. i don't own any cds and i'm not interested in the radio stations. it's just important, for some reason, that that thing is there. it's existence and presence in my apartment in and of itself is the manifested expression of the radio station i'm listening to, the radio, at least that part of it that is there merely to act as a mental reference point to the radio, to itself, to the essence of the here and now that is the true raw nature of time as it would otherwise be forgotten in the false context of memory. there is no music that is richer than this. there is no signal stronger than silence as all sound is contained within it. everything is enchanted by silence. the strength of an existences enchantment is measured by the strength of its silence. this is true for all of existence including within the context of music as expressed in the wake of silence.


Posted by: i agree on 03-17-08

revel is a coward on an ego trip. no argument there at all. i am you as you are he and you are me and we are all NOT -that- guy revel.


Posted by: . on 03-17-08

there's obviously a direct connection between time travel and the dimensions. when a person time travels the first thing that happens is that they effectively erase their original timeline, so there has to be somewhere for te traveller to be wen their originating timeline is gone, and that is the dimensions/dimensional existance, which is the same as the place refered to as the other side, which is accessable by degree of indisposal to physicality, of course. it i by order of the cessation of interest in the expression of the local timeline that the traveller is imparted visibility within this field, and this process may be expressed in varying degrees of speed. the traveller for example may wish to sift bulk from their observed expression or to purge it, perhaps in haste, which would lengthen the process, as more bulk would then be created while attempting to escape entropic gravity which no one can do on the other side or on this one.


Posted by: Emmanuel Teijeiro. Original creator of homestarrunner.com on 02-11-08

so i was like "i sure am the original creator of homestarrunner.com and i don't give a fuck who your two brothers think they are". and that was that.


Posted by: frog on 02-08-08

in response to "black lentil"'s prattle about sporky:

dude, how are you going to say that it's SAD that a kid named after a plastic fork and spoon combination i ate parfaits from kentucky fried chicken with when i was the same age he was when we were both on the farm does better growing up in the mainstream, using a username that's just a ripoff of kira's, and an incoherent one at that, and expect to be taken seriously? i mean, by anyone intelligent, obviously you succeeded in shutting down the thread and making a spectacle of hipforums moderatorship, but that's beside the point. or is it. heh. nevermind. good job genius.


Posted by: post regarding revel's ego trip in zendik forums on 01-28-08

Revel: (clears throat) Everyone (in the context of this dicussion) IS Arol, and everyone else here for that matter. You ARE a weak masochistic conceited bitch, and a failure at life. I AM intelligent and confident enough not to bother wasting my time either advising or commanding you to "get some class" as I DO recognize the boundary between my responsibility and yours, and that IS the reality you have to face every day of your life, waking or sleeping. I AM the winner of that and any other existing argument for that matter, and I AM at this moment as these words are spoken, a better zendik than you, a better man than you, and a better person than you, BECAUSE my response to life is YES, to knowing that the one bearing the devils advocate excuse is the fool, the martyr, the retard, and the loser, being yourself, in that matter, of course. Cheers (to me). Blan.

Frog


Posted by: whats wrong with my name on 01-25-08

god IS us, and wether or not i care about you doesn't need to be ADVERTISED. this dilema is the foundation of the zendik cult, which is founded and led psychically by me simply because i bear that name, and am conscious of it's fallacy, and THAT's what's behind zendik. That's the whole thing.




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